PLEASE say "hi!"

As I've said here before, Ben has an IEP at school to receive extra services from speech and occupational therapists.  This help is incredible and I still believe his early intervention speech services made ALL the difference.  His vocabulary and articulation are now on par but he still takes a little longer in conversation to form questions and responses.  

IEP's and school services are priceless, but they also put the kiddos who have them under micro-scopes and often place expectations on these kids that their peers don't face.  One of those expectations for Ben is around conversations with peers and a certain amount of back and forth exchanges.  Now in a very unbiased, take off my mama hat way, I can tell you Ben is one of the most out-going kids in his class and goes out of his way to greet friends and strangers alike more than lots of other kiddos.  His greetings often fall on deaf ears and blank faces and the "conversation" ends.  I remind those watching him so closely of this frequently repeated scenario and encourage help for all the kids in this conversing department.

More than with peers though, Ben is very outgoing with adults.  Never was this more clear than a year ago when he patted a gentlemen in Home Depot on his rather rotund belly and quipped, "hey big guy.  How ya doin'?,"  as I ducked behind some boxes and feigned ownership of the too-forward child.  In this case, the kind man giggled and shook his head at me still smiling each time we happened to cross paths.  

Sadly, I'm shocked multiple times a week when Ben's greetings of adults are flat-out ignored.  Yesterday my eyes filled with tears of sadness and rage when his MANY (20+) waves and greetings to a "Papa" on the playground were not acknowledged.   He had watched from above on the play structure as this man played with his granddaughter, and finally started saying and waving "Hi!" "Hi guys. How ya doin?" from above.  It's no surprise to those that know him that Ben sought out the Papa on the playground and I thought for sure he'd be rewarded for it.  After the many salutations went ignored, Ben took the Loooooong route down from where he was to stand directly next to the man and repeat his greeting.  Sadly, the man barely turned his head towards Ben and muttered a quiet "hi" back.  Ben's, "how you guys doin'?" yielded no response at all and I encouraged him to move to another favorite area.  It was no surprise when they left that Ben's "bye guys! thanks for playing with me!" also yielded no response.  

When my frustration subsided, I pulled Ben aside and praised him for his efforts in a big way.  We do encounter this scenario a lot.  It's not always quite so extreme, but I see young kids being ignored all the time.  Whether it's a teenager who is "too-cool," or a business person much to busy to be bothered, or even a Papa at the playground, these people just don't care enough for a simple 30 second exchange with a little person.  Sometimes these same people criticize these growing beings who have their faces glued to their electronics, but hey, at least the games give feedback!  

I admit that because Ben is under scrutiny for this skill, I'm hyper-aware of this too-frequent scenario. Fortunately the situation yesterday moved me to make my plea to a broader audience. So please, please, please, when you're out in the world, take a minute to be aware, especially to the little people, and give them the respect you want them to grow to treat the world with.  Remind your teenagers and your aging parents about the surprising impact just a few of their words can have.  Not all kiddos have people standing by and encouraging them to try, try again.  Simple actions can make or break the most important little spirits and leave a much bigger impact than you might imagine.