Beginner's Luck and the Baby Bible

First, if you read yesterday's post, night 2 of our new sleep routine went great!! Ben squeaked at 11:15, I think because he was uncovered, and quickly went back to sleep.  I heard him stirring at 5 am and snuck in and covered him before he got fully awake and ........voila!!!......he slept until 730.  11.5 hours!  As I said yesterday, this isn't a first, but we are trying to make it a regular.

I will never take for granted how blessed we were with an infant who slept great.  At 9 weeks he was usually sleeping at least 7 hours.  There were lots of horrible afternoons of forcing him to stay awake to get there, but it paid off.  The blessing of bottle feeding was also that we always knew how much he was eating and well, .....he liked to eat:).

 Thank you for indulging me in a Chunky Monkey Montage.....

Back in the "good Ole' days," we used to walk a couple times a week with friends Tisha and Cadyn.  Anytime I'd have a baby rearing question Tisha would quip, "Get The Baby Whisperer."  This was also during a time when I'd ask for help on Facebook and my message box would be filled with suggestions of books to read and others to avoid.  I got a few, "you are NOT a Baby Whisperer mother!"  Of course I would think about the particular problem and how this particular advice givers children acted in said department and usually move forward based on those observations:).

At some point I gave in and agreed to borrow The Baby Whisperer, and it was love at first read.  I will quickly admit I don't fully agree with everything she says but there are two important facts.  

1)Every tool of hers that we've used has been smashingly successful.

2)She gives credence to the fact that kiddos are inherently different and should be treated based on their personalities.  There are no one-size-fits-all solutions.

I have recommended this book over and over and have witnessed that those who follow it all have also found success.  I was with the "common sense parenting" bunch and was quick to say I didn't need a book to raise my kids.  And while lots of the theories in my Baby Bible are common sense, others aren't.  For instance, with our current sleep issue, BW suggests "waking to sleep."  For example, because we know Ben's been waking at 4 or 5, we should wake him at 3:45 and settle him back down before he wakes on his own.  Now, to me, there is no common sense in that, and though we haven't gotten there yet, I'm sure it would work.  Because Ben's been going back to sleep when he wakes we are going to wait to try the "wake to sleep," but I won't hesitate if necessary.  

Another important piece of this book is that's it's very pro-active.  Unfortunately, when all is well you just go on with life and grab the book when problems arise, but reading it regularly, especially in the first year, could stop lots of issues before they start.  I've also had some friends utilize only parts of the book with limited success.  For instance, you can use all the sleep techniques in the world, but if you're not feeding your child enough, they are going to wake up hungry.  This book intertwines all aspects into a clear plan for a hopefully happy, healthy child.

Finally, if this one isn't your bible, I would recommend you find one that is:).  I was happy to take any advice I could get and at least see it through.  The Baby Whisperer has come through for us time and time again.

*Note: I was in no way paid or benefited from the exultations in this post.  It's just the plain truth that worked for us.

17 months

"How did I get here?" wow! 17 months is so close to 18, and that seems so close to two! In fact, things change so much from day to day right now that it's hard to fathom what Ben will be doing and saying 6 months from now. Right now there is lots of almost instant gratification for mama. It seems I spend very little time teaching or showing him things and suddenly a day or two later he does said thing leaving me in awe that my teaching actually worked!!

His only new word at the moment is baby, which he has repeated twice very clearly. While that's his only new official word, he is making new sounds and sound combinations every day. I keep having dreams about him starting very clear statements ended with his own special gobbldygook. As his MeeMee noted last night, with all this babbling, "when he finally finds his words, we'll never get him to (be quiet)."

With his quick learning of late and new found motor skills, lots of Bens old toys are all new as he can play with them in all new ways.  We also learned at MeeMee's last week that this boy should never be without a ball.  He actually bit and deflated a (very thick skinned) ball at MeeMee's and we were stopping him from throwing his other toys and objects all week. 

Toddlerhood of late has also brought expected and unexpected challenges.  I clearly remember attempting to read a book to Ben's friend Cadyn about this time last year.  She was very into word and object books (without story-lines or plots) and not very into waiting for all the words on the page.  Though Ben has been peacefully turning the pages when prompted for many many months, he now turns them at hyper speed not caring what you are reading (but don't dare stop.)  His infatuation of late is the book, My Very Own Name, which I have more than memorized and which we often spend two hours a day reading over and over and over and over and over and over and over.........now you know how I feel:). 

The unexpected change of late has been sleep patterns.  While Ben has never consistently slept 12 hours a night like some of his counterparts, he did spend a couple months this fall sleeping 10.5-11 and allowing us to begin the transition to a single nap. Even then, however, that nap was usually 10:30 to 1:30 or 2, leaving us with a VERY tired baby by 8pm.  Sometime over the holidays this sleep began to shorten and over the last couple weeks Ben has been waking consistently at 4 am and sometimes during the night.  I do remember and give credit to our crazy life right now bouncing from house to house and seeing lots of new people all the time.  We made a mistake at MeeMee's last week and brought Ben into bed with me and both of us when he woke at 4 or 5 am.  He would then sleep on until 730 or even 830 one day. So, with the help of The Baby Whisperer (see future post for how her book is my bible:), and caffeine, I am going to tackle this sleep problem head on.  The hardest part has been and will continue to be pushing Ben a bit past his tired state for a while.  I am such a lover of sleep that when he shows tired signs I just want to let him nap.  I know a struggle now will pay off for all of us in the long run and I also know that I tried this transition too early before.  I am confident the time is right now.  Today has been a success and he woke at 4, 5 and finally 6, and just went down for one nap at noon.  Unfortunately, due to the Kurre Curse, there was no sleep for me after the 15 minutes of back rubbing and shooshing at 4am, but perhaps this will be a training exercise for both of us in falling back to sleep.

I've been a pretty good Mama in the food department and have been taking the time to have Ben practice with a spoon and fork.  It's WAY too easy to always give him finger foods and often use food time to cook our adult dinner or clean the kitchen.  I've been consistently sitting with him at least once a day and guiding him and it's definitely been paying off.  One day too soon I will long for the days when he couldn't manipulate utensils on his own so a little progress is perfect.

Ben's dancing skills continue to change almost daily and keep all around him in stitches.  He has taken on some ballet moves of late after watching Angelina Ballerina and I will try to get a video before this too passes.  The most humorous trick in Ben's back pocket right now is his flirting :).  Countless (mostly female real estate agents) people have quipped, "he's flirting with me....for real."  or "did you see that look?  He really knows how to flirt."  And sadly, I admit, this boy can flirt!! He tilts his head down and to the side and raises his eyes in perfect, "how you doin'?" fashion.  Yes, I am afraid.....very afraid.

We did successfully find a pediatrician and get everything transferred, so next month you'll get a full well-baby update, complete with stats galore! Amen!  I promised in his 14/15 month Well Baby post to have some nakey baby pics "well before" his 18 month visit and I am a woman of my word who forgets very little so here you go.........

Operation Jelly rescue.......

32

Yes, I turned 32 last Thursday and with Ben's early rising schedule of late, I feel it most days.  In my head, I keep likening my thirties to a war (but one I'm glad to be fighting.)  I think at 32 your socks are maybe a bit wet from the swamp but your toes aren't wrinkly yet......You haven't encountered any enemies face to face but still try to stay in top shape to defeat them........the food is awful because you're not starving enough yet that anything tastes good....the real fight or flight hasn't kicked in yet, but there is certainly no turning back now.......you are in the trenches but still appreciating the sun on your face rather than cowering away from it.....I imagine lots of this is status quo till about 34 when the real fear of being closer to 40 than 30 starts to kick in.  I guess I should ask my husband about that!

My celebrations this year were wonderful.  It's great to spend a birthday with extended family after many years apart.  Wednesday night Ryan's mom cooked a delicious dinner as she was flying out the next day.  (wow, the rest of this post is mostly gonna be about food:)  On the big day, Ben and I joined Molly downtown for lunch at Illegal Pete's and a leisurely stroll and photog session on the way back to her office.  I hurried home to cook my Grandma Theresa's breaded pork tenderloin, Great Aunt Mae's wild rice casserole, and wedge salads complete with blue cheese crumbles and fresh bacon.  Yum! Yum!  It was a tedious job but well worth it.  Thankfully, MeeMee had stopped by pre-dinner to drop off flowers and hug her favorite daughter on her birthday.  Her help wrangling Ben was the only way I got dinner done on time:).  Her visit was also a highlight as she told Ben about falling in love with me in the hospital when I was born just as I had with him when he was.  She said it was actually the day after my birth that she really became smitten as after 36 hours of labor, I 'm not sure she could feel anything on my birthday.  It was so special to me to hear and I certainly have a whole new understanding of that love now that Ben is in my life.  I'll surely be bugging her to retell the story year after year until Ben can tell it himself.

 

Tante was surprised I let him play in the dirt in his Polo chinos :).

huh?

Good photo ops at the Pavilions sign (need to remember)

At that point the celebration was just getting started.  With complete coincidence of it's proximity to my birthday, we joined friends Blake and Betsy for dinner Friday night at their home.  We met them while living in Wichita but they actually made the move to Denver about a year before we did.  It was great to see them and share hints and tip for making the most of the Mile High City.

Saturday started with breakfast with the Laura's (Lou and Towbin) who have been my dear girlfriends for over 13 years, (HOly Man, I am old!!)  I ran home to gather the boys and we headed to MeeMee's to pick up Molly and my Mom and head to Boulder for Ben's (and Molly's) first college basketball game.  JP joined us in Boulder and another nearly 60 degree day made the whole experience all the more delightful.  Ben was in total awe as we entered the stadium with the band playing and people everywhere.  The Coors events center is fairly small as college basketball stadiums go and I was thrilled Ben could take in the action on the court and all around him.  His awe was not unending and I am thankful to all who let Ben do laps around the concourse while I enjoyed the action.  The game was a nail-biter and CU pulled out an amazing 1 point win against a team they should not have beaten.  We made dinner a quick affair with our quickly fading Nugget, but the day week was absolutely wonderful and I am so blessed to have gotten to spend time with so many who are dear to me doing such fun things.

and these aren't even the pretty parts of campus

Adventure with Tante (Guest Post)

Spending special one-on-one time with a niece/nephew has been an Aunthood dream of mine for a long time - BB (Before Ben, even).  Jess and Ryan traveled a lot BB and I would have lots of adventures with my 4-legged niece and nephew.  Luke even spent a day in college at CU with me and I took him to one of my classes!  Which explains why he is so smart.  Had I attended CSU, this would not be the case.

When we finally found out that Jess and  Ryan would be moving home from the ICT, this was one of the things I was most excited about - being able to "kidnap" Ben and take him out for a night day on the town!   This past weekend while Jess and Ryan were in the ICT doing some house stuff, MeeMee was on Ben duty.  Saturday, she had some dog-training classes and needed a pinch-babysitter to watch over the Nugget.  I, of course, leaped at the opportunity to spend time with the little beast and what I thought would just be a few hours at MeeMee's house turned into quite the adventure to northern Colorado.  My manfriend, JP (JPizz, as Jess refers to him), lives in Ft. Collins so we decided to head up there to spend the day with him and to watch the Bronco's game. 

I arrived at MeeMee's house around 10:30am to find a sleepy Nugget.  We decided to keep him awake to shoot for one long afternoon nap and MeeMee made his lunch while I packed everything into the car (MeeMee graciously traded cars with me for the day since Ben's carseat is already installed in her vehicle).  After quite the snafu with said carseat (once I got Ben in the seat, I realized it was too tight to fasten and was then too tight to get him out), we were finally on our way and Ben and Jelly went straight to sleep.  Ben napped for about an hour and 45 minutes and when he awoke, we met up with JP and ran some errands and had lunch.  Lunch (and Ben's afternoon Moo Juice) was at Fort Collins staple, Big City Burrito.  Ryan will try to tell you that Fort Collins is the birthplace of the burrito.  I haven't had one from here in years (Boulder has one, too) and it was better than I remembered.  Mmmmm!!

Then, since we were so close to campus we decided to stop by a CSU sign to take a picture for Dada.  Ben's disgust was immediately apparent. 

This sign was in front of a big garden on the CSU campus.  Obviously, there were no flowers, but lots of space to "run" around.  Ben seemed amazed at the space and was very excited to toddle around and chase JPizz and me.

We then headed over to JP's house where Ben was happy to meet a new dog, Annie, and explore a new house.  JP also has a sunken family room so he had some more practice with reverse stair climbing.  JP's youngest daughter and her girlfriend were there and it was funny to see their general fear of/distaste for children and all the hazards that a house contains.  In general though, they were very sweet to Ben and Michal (JP's daughter) found some fun coasters for Ben to bang together.  It was gorgeous on Saturday so we headed out front to enjoy the last hour or so of sunshine.  Ben didn't have much interest in the front yard as it is sloped and was hard for him to balance.  The cement sidewalk, however, was heaven for our dear Nugget.  He especially liked the cars parked on the street which allowed him to see his handsome reflection.  Back inside, JP whipped out his guitar and played a few Wee Sing songs (he even let Ben strum on his own!).  Ben was less interested in JP's renditions of his favorite tunes as the CD versions are sung by children. 

We then headed over to JP's ex-wife's fianace's house (yes, we are aware of the images of dysfunction this conjures up and we all had some laughs suggesting we be filmed for a reality show) for some food and football.  Jim (Marcy's fianace) has a beautiful kitchen and is a great cook.  He prepared quite the feast (sliders, wings, homemade french fries, shrimp cocktail, nachos, etc.) as we all knew this would be the end of the season for our dear Donkey's.  We were also joined by Marcy's friends, Rosemary and Glenn.  Ben enjoyed Charlie the cat, yet another new house to explore and more new people.  He was quite sleepy so was content to lounge and watch the game.  Everyone was absolutely smitten with the blue-eyed boy and couldn't get enough snuggles from him.  I was relieved that everyone loved him so much as not all people would enjoy a baby at a football party. 

At 8pm sharp we loaded a jammied Ben back into the car with Jelly and some nighttime Moo Juice for the drive home.  I plopped him into his crib for the night and back to dream land he went.  I am proud and relieved I was able to keep his schedule!!

After a day with Ben I am, once again, amazed at how my sister does it all by herself.  She and Ben have daily adventures out and about just the two of them and it just amazes me.  Everywhere I was on Saturday I had lots of help from people and really don't know how I would have fared had I been by myself.  JP absolutely loves babies and was constantly offering to carry things and get Ben in and out of his car seat.  He even held him during dinner (which came pre-prepared by Ben's Mama) so Ben would sit still long enough to eat.  MeeMee's assistance was imperative to us even getting out of the house and all the guests at the football game were eager to help and play with Ben.  I cannot imagine how single parents do this job.  As they say, it takes a Village. 

I was exhausted by the time I finally arrived back home in Denver around 9:30pm, but had the BEST day with Ben.  It was really our first day together solo and I will hold the time and memories in my heart forever.  I love you, Nugget and am excited to have many more adventures with you, Tante-style.

Still

As most seasoned or novice photogs would likely tell you, light is the biggest challenge in photography.....lack of it, too much of it, or it's placement in the room or the sky.  Light determines what speed you can take a picture at and more importantly, how much movement you can capture crisply.  I have a trusty 50mm 1.8 pretty fast little lens in my bag of tricks, but aside from the sunniest days (or windows) it's no longer adequate to catch my very mobile toddler in action without artificial light.   Still only happens these days with sleep or football viewing.  MeeMee's house has wonderful natural light but try as I might, I could not capture the running Nugget.  Even when he sits or pauses momentarily there is something in his mouth or on his head.  Finally last Friday I had the thought that maybe I could keep him corralled in his booster, move him to the sunny window and get a couple decent shots.  Though he wasn't overly smiley, I did snap a few keepers and renewed my photog spirit and motivation.  I would love any suggestions for capturing little ones on the move or creative ways to corral outdoors in the winter besides the stroller or swings.

With flash :( but cute.

Mouth and head

and more mouth

his short post-bath curls that will soon be gone again :(.

and finally, some gorgeous long-awaited natural light

love the details in his eyes in this one:)

School

In honor of this "school", post, I'm learning something new and doing this post totally mobile from my iPhone. Ben and I have been hanging at MeeMee's while Ryan is in Florida for work so I am without my Mac and pictures and usual tools for blogging. Yesterday we visited MeeMee at one of the two schools she works at and Ben was in heaven....long halls to run down, door after door to inspect, and lots of big kids!! Anytime he spotted one, Ben would run in the direction of the big kids and slow as he approached to see what they were all about. Ryan and I have discussed and always planned on starting preschool the fall when Ben turned 3, but yesterday confirmed we'll be starting next fall. We'd only do a couple days a week for 2 or 3 hours, but I want to embrace his outgoing-ness, especially at the time lots of kids get clingy and shy. Now to find a home and neighborhood so I can start searching for a preschool:).

Fun with the A/V cart

PS.-I learned I cannot directly upload pics from my phone into the blog.  It's time for more Mama school as I've still got lots to learn about mobile blogging.

First Blood

No, I didn't let Ben watch a Steven Seagal movie, or maybe that one was Van Damme??  What started as the most wonderful day today took a turn when Ben failed to get down for a big step and ended up with his first very bloody nose and one very sad Mama :(.  

We met up with friend Towbin and pup Kali for a Wash Park walk in the gorgeous 65 degree weather.  A morning car nap even allowed for a lunch out and about on our walk back to Towbin's.  I decided to let Ben terrorize Towbin's house for a bit before hopping back in the car and unfortunately it did not end well.  He approached the open back door of her house that steps down to a laundry room and then another open door.  Kali was visible in the back yard through the two doors and surely Ben was headed in her direction.  As there are several small elevation changes at Ben's MeeMee's house that he knows to navigate on his belly, I thought my warning of, "step Ben!," would cause him to get down:(.  My warning was ignored and he fell off the step just as I reached him.  It was a taller than normal step onto a concrete floor:(.  He did catch himself on his hands and thankfully I didn't actually witness his face hitting the floor as it must have done.  I picked him up to comfort him and Towbin calmly said, "Uh-Oh Jess, He's bleeding."  I am SO thankful Towbin was there to spring into action with a cloth and ice.  The crying lasted no longer than any other fall and I gave him my keys (which he NEVER gets to play with) so he was instantly calmed.  The bleeding took longer to stop than this Mama would like, but after a once-over by Dr. Laura and a consult with dad, my nerves began to calm.  
He fell asleep on the way home and is sleeping happily now.  I have checked him every 15 minutes and can hear him breathing on the monitor but still get tears in my eyes when I re-play the incident.  My heart is so torn with guilt and the part of me that knows I have to let go and that this incident is the first of many.  We have a life of incidents and accidents ahead of us and a crazy fearless boy, so I know I better get used to it.  With all the joys of blessings of parenthood, so come the heart-tugging painful moments.  It's crazy to have the perspective of how my mom must have felt as I laid in the hospital in pain with my appendix, or sobbed over a boy (only one).  Think I'll go check on him now, it's been a couple minutes since I heard a breath :)................... 

Mr. Mom

While mom is away the boys will play...
Yes, for those of you wondering this is Ryan with my inaugural guest post.  Since Jess started this blog more that a year ago all I have done up to now is read and occasionally (very rarely) comment.  This time I will post as mom was away in Arizona and dad, aka, Mr Mom, captured all the moments that make being a parent so fun (who am I kidding, challenging). So, without further ado......
...And play we did.
The first stop on the play train was MeeMee's house for a little handyman work for Mr Mom and playtime for Ben.  Jess's mom is on the brink of starting to redo her kitchen so we had to go over and rip off some drywall so the new fridge would fit.  We knocked this one out quickly but halfway through realized that Ben hadn't had breakfast and it was 10am.  This was my first reality check that I was in charge and couldn't forget that sort of thing if we were going to keep on the schedule that Momma has meticulously crafted for little Ben.  Once we finished up the work we headed back to the house for some lunch.  (sorry, no pics of the demo).

Later that afternoon we got a text from Aunt Dede that all of my cousin's kids were over at her house and they were planning a trip to the zoo lights.  Mr mom sprung into action and quickly calculated Ben's schedule vs what Dede had proposed and came to the conclusion that this just might work.  So I put Ben down for a nap and got everything together.  I was pretty proud that I didn't forget anything and the night went nicely until we arrived at the zoo and my uncle said it best, "this place is a zoo."  Apparently all of the other families that had family in town decided to go to the Denver zoo and partake in the festivities known as "Zoo Lights".  When we arrived at the parking lot there were about as many cars looking for parking as those that actually found it.  We were in two cars and I thought that there was no way we would find a spot much less two spots anywhere near each other.  Just as we were about to give up hope a security guard in a golf cart ushered us into two spots right in front that had hashed lines so no one had parked there.  Right place at the right time.  Overall I would say that the zoo at the zoo was fun. See the pics below at the zoo and at their house before hand with all of the kids together.

Elephant of Lights

Kids all bundled up

The whole crew

Kiddos and the Pup

It was a pretty full day and we didn't get back to the house until way after Ben's bed time.  He was a little champ and drank his milk in the car and fell fast asleep. He barely batted an eye when I moved him from the car to the crib, a delicate move that often can go wrong.

Because of the late night we decided the next day was going to be pretty mild and thought a nice jog around the lake at Clement park and a quick snack at Barnes and Noble was an appropriate highlight.  We also made plans with Aunt Christy to visit cousin Ian down in Colorado Springs for the next day.  We haven't visited them since we have been home so thought it would be good to do a little catching up with Ian and the gang down there.

The morning of day 3 had arrived and Mr. Mom was trying to get out the door with a shower and everything.  A feat not to be taken lightly to you other Mr. Moms out there.  Good thing Grandpa Jim and Nana Pat were home to lend a hand in feeding Ben and watching him while Mr. Mom gathered himself up and got out the door.

The drive down went smooth and we arrived at Aunt Christy and Uncle Dave's with a welcoming committee (the local wildlife).

Welcoming Committee

When we arrived Ben gave Ian a lesson in crawling and walking and playing with some toys.  They were pretty cute together I must admit and had they had a good playing and learning from each other.

"Let me show you how this works Ian"

After some play time and an unsuccessful attempt to lure the buck with the Christmas lights stuck on on its antlers over for help, we headed over to Mom and Pop Spoon's house for lunch.  All of the kids were in town and all the grand kids were running around.  Ben got his first try at basketball.  Momma would be proud.

Ben! Better Duck!

After lunch the crew headed over to Mr Biggs, an indoor play park and Ben loved to see all the kids and run around.  The only thing Mr. Mom saw were germs and little hands on everything.  Wasn't the cleanest place and a little run down so for a toddler that likes to stick everything in his mouth it was making Mr. Mom nervous.  Ben was getting tired and needed his milk so we headed back and Ben got  his nap on the drive back up.

The time was fun since we did so many things together however I would say that I was exhausted and was glad to be picking momma up at the airport Friday night.  Thank you my son for the fun and we will have to do it again soon.

Until next time, Mr. Mom signing off.