First Blood

No, I didn't let Ben watch a Steven Seagal movie, or maybe that one was Van Damme??  What started as the most wonderful day today took a turn when Ben failed to get down for a big step and ended up with his first very bloody nose and one very sad Mama :(.  

We met up with friend Towbin and pup Kali for a Wash Park walk in the gorgeous 65 degree weather.  A morning car nap even allowed for a lunch out and about on our walk back to Towbin's.  I decided to let Ben terrorize Towbin's house for a bit before hopping back in the car and unfortunately it did not end well.  He approached the open back door of her house that steps down to a laundry room and then another open door.  Kali was visible in the back yard through the two doors and surely Ben was headed in her direction.  As there are several small elevation changes at Ben's MeeMee's house that he knows to navigate on his belly, I thought my warning of, "step Ben!," would cause him to get down:(.  My warning was ignored and he fell off the step just as I reached him.  It was a taller than normal step onto a concrete floor:(.  He did catch himself on his hands and thankfully I didn't actually witness his face hitting the floor as it must have done.  I picked him up to comfort him and Towbin calmly said, "Uh-Oh Jess, He's bleeding."  I am SO thankful Towbin was there to spring into action with a cloth and ice.  The crying lasted no longer than any other fall and I gave him my keys (which he NEVER gets to play with) so he was instantly calmed.  The bleeding took longer to stop than this Mama would like, but after a once-over by Dr. Laura and a consult with dad, my nerves began to calm.  
He fell asleep on the way home and is sleeping happily now.  I have checked him every 15 minutes and can hear him breathing on the monitor but still get tears in my eyes when I re-play the incident.  My heart is so torn with guilt and the part of me that knows I have to let go and that this incident is the first of many.  We have a life of incidents and accidents ahead of us and a crazy fearless boy, so I know I better get used to it.  With all the joys of blessings of parenthood, so come the heart-tugging painful moments.  It's crazy to have the perspective of how my mom must have felt as I laid in the hospital in pain with my appendix, or sobbed over a boy (only one).  Think I'll go check on him now, it's been a couple minutes since I heard a breath :)...................