We had crunchy cows for dinner last night. Excuse me? I put them on the menu Saturday and we haven't had them in months. I had kind of forgotten where we were introduced to them until telling a neighbor about them yesterday. When we were in Iowa last year (last week last year) we found a great little independent coffee and sandwich shop with wi-fi. We went there often both during the daily two hour block when we couldn't be in the NICU and later when we were waiting for the interstate compact approval that would allow us to return home.
As the one-year anniversary of coming home, Ben meeting his MeeMee and Tante, etc., cross my mind, I also started thinking this week how one year ago we had sent out the email that was for lots of our family and friends the first notice they got that we were now parents.
While I'm confident the sandwich coming to mind was coincidence, I thought I'd capture in the blog the email we sent to family friends a little over one year ago introducing our little miracle......................
Greetings All!
Where to begin? First, we must make two apologies. Parts of some of this note will be repetitive for some of you, but we wanted to get the whole story out at once and get everyone on the same page. Second, please understand our need for keeping this wonderful story to ourselves for the past couple of months. As we have learned in our journey of late, not all news is good news and the good news is a lot more fun to share!! We decided to get this email out ASAP and talk to all of you after you know the whole story rather then spend time talking and repeating the story over and over again and further delaying our announcing to the world, the adoption of our son,
Benjamin Ryan Heimer
Ben was born Friday August 20th at 11:50 am and weighed 6 lbs, 6 oz. and was 19 in. long. But that's not where the story begins....
Many of you received a letter from us this spring letting you know we had decided to adopt and asking for your help in keeping your eyes and ears open. At the same time, we completed an application and profile with a local attorney who would help complete the process when we finally found a potential birthmother and baby. On Wednesday June 2nd, just 6 days after submitting our paperwork, we were chosen by a birthmother who wanted us to parent her child. We had only one day to decide before she would move on to another couple, but the choice was easy. We were very blessed that she was a healthy, non-smoker, which we had been told might take years to find. More importantly to us, she had chosen us from many many profiles. We had planned that the process would take many months if not years and we now had a baby on the way in 8 short weeks!! In addition, we had just purchased hard wood floors and had the majority of the house completely torn apart! Of course we wanted to scream our news from the rooftops, but quickly decided we would share the news when this baby was here, and ours.... all ours!
The birthmother did not wish to meet with us so we quietly plugged away working on the house and preparing a nursery with cautious optimism. On Tuesday June 22nd we found out it was a boy and had a firm due date near the end of August. As the time drew near, the Dr's moved up the due date by 9 days which put us into hyper-speed in preparing and meant Jess slept even less. The delivery was a scheduled c-section on August 19th. A week and a half before the 19th, the birthmother asked to meet with us. We left on Thursday after work and drove the 6 hours to Sioux City, Iowa, where Mom and Baby were. We met with our attorney's and the birthmother on friday morning and chatted for just over an hour. Everyone involved was happy we met and comforted by the meeting. The birthmother said the visit confirmed her choice and apologized for making us travel there. Also that day we made plans to take the birthmother to dinner the night before her surgery. In hindsight, we wouldn't have done it any other way. We also learned at that meeting that the delivery had been changed to Friday the 20th at 11am.
The following week we headed back to Sioux City Thursday morning and got settled into what we thought would be our home away from home for at least a week. We arrived at the restaurant at the agreed upon meeting time growing more nervous as the minutes ticked by and the birthmother did not arrive. She had had some last minute troubles with childcare and apologized profusely via our attorney. We ate dinner, grabbed a bottle of wine and hoped that sleep would come. We arrived at the hospital at 10 am Friday morning. We waited and waited and waited as the Dr's waited for an O.R. Shortly after noon with little notice, a nurse brought Benjamin into our waiting room and put him in Jess's arms. As the nurse put it, "he wasn't behaving," and after only a couple seconds they whisked him away into the nursery for assessment. We watched through the glass as tears flowed down our faces and they assessed our little guy. In short order they came out and told us he wasn't breathing well on his own and was testing like a 34 week gestation. They let us walk him to the NICU (neonatal intensive care unit) and told us we could see him in about an hour. When we were finally allowed to see him, he was laying on a warmer (Ryan said, "like a chicken,") he had an IV, a feeding tube coming from his mouth, and pressurized oxygen to help him breathe. Ben, of course, was not our only concern. In the few moments of calm, our minds quickly thought of his birthmother. She was recovering well and visited with him once and also met with us once before she went home. In a matter of hours, the Dr. determined Ben didn't seem as early as they thought. We had our own room a floor below and Ryan took the first shift in the recliner in Ben's room. At four am Jess relieved him. The nurses in the NICU were some of the many blessings in this story-truly angels. Within 24 hours, the Dr's removed the oxygen and shortly thereafter we were allowed to attempt bottle feeding. Ryan's parents arrived Saturday evening and we also checked into the nearby Ronald McDonald house as was recommended by the nurses and attorneys. It was only a block away with a stocked pantry and a queen size bed. We would do Ben's 9:30 feedings each night and be back for the 6:30 am feedings. We spent the rest of the time at his bedside reading, playing pictionary, or talking about his future. Cell phones and computers weren't allowed so we used the 2-4 pm mandatory quiet time each day to step out and update the family on his progress. In order for us to escape the hospital we needed Ben to eat well for a few feedings in a row and by Tuesday morning he had done just that. The Dr. came in and said we could go home a day earlier than we had thought. "Home" in this case was far from it. The huge step in being able to leave the hospital was that the paperwork that would allow us to leave Iowa and enter Kansas could be submitted. We made a happy home at the Ronald McDonald house and tried to maintain sleep and have a couple fun outings as well. We knew we might be able to go home sometime between Thursday and Friday afternoon and hoped we wouldn't be stuck in Iowa over the weekend. After a stir-crazy Friday (yesterday) morning we made some calls in attempt to push things along and got the call around 1 that we could start packing. Shortly after 2 p.m. we were in the car for the 6 hour journey home. 2 p.m. yesterday was also the expiration of the birthmother's time limit to change her mind about the adoption under Iowa law!! We weren't really worried, but didn't want to announce anything until he was officially ours. Hence, the reason you are receiving this email this afternoon!! (Although we could have written it last night when Ben was up until 2 am.) The rest should all be red-tape and paperwork, and Ben's finalization hearing is set for October 27th!!
We are settling in to life at home and Jess's mom arrived yesterday morning to help and hug and stock the freezer. Ben is sleeping in four hour stints, however his favorite time to be awake seems to be from 10 p.m. to 2 a.m. Getting that little clock switched will be our first priority. Right after a nap!!
We welcome your calls in the coming weeks and would love to share more details with all of you. Now that you know the whole story we can talk about the good stuff!! Like how amidst pee covering all three of us at 1 am, we are more in love with this little guy than we ever thought possible and we are excited for the adventure that has just begun!
With love,
Ryan, Jess, Ben, and Anna and Luke, too.
Feel free to share our news!
PS.-Ben was named after his Great X 4 Grandfather who settled in Sioux City to raise his family after emigrating as a child with his mother from Germany. Grandpa Ben's Obituary said,"No better neighbor ever lived, always accommodating and sociable. A kind, good husband, father, grandfather, and brother. The community has lost a noble highly honored citizen. Gone but the memory of him and his high ideals remain."
Many of you received a letter from us this spring letting you know we had decided to adopt and asking for your help in keeping your eyes and ears open. At the same time, we completed an application and profile with a local attorney who would help complete the process when we finally found a potential birthmother and baby. On Wednesday June 2nd, just 6 days after submitting our paperwork, we were chosen by a birthmother who wanted us to parent her child. We had only one day to decide before she would move on to another couple, but the choice was easy. We were very blessed that she was a healthy, non-smoker, which we had been told might take years to find. More importantly to us, she had chosen us from many many profiles. We had planned that the process would take many months if not years and we now had a baby on the way in 8 short weeks!! In addition, we had just purchased hard wood floors and had the majority of the house completely torn apart! Of course we wanted to scream our news from the rooftops, but quickly decided we would share the news when this baby was here, and ours.... all ours!
The birthmother did not wish to meet with us so we quietly plugged away working on the house and preparing a nursery with cautious optimism. On Tuesday June 22nd we found out it was a boy and had a firm due date near the end of August. As the time drew near, the Dr's moved up the due date by 9 days which put us into hyper-speed in preparing and meant Jess slept even less. The delivery was a scheduled c-section on August 19th. A week and a half before the 19th, the birthmother asked to meet with us. We left on Thursday after work and drove the 6 hours to Sioux City, Iowa, where Mom and Baby were. We met with our attorney's and the birthmother on friday morning and chatted for just over an hour. Everyone involved was happy we met and comforted by the meeting. The birthmother said the visit confirmed her choice and apologized for making us travel there. Also that day we made plans to take the birthmother to dinner the night before her surgery. In hindsight, we wouldn't have done it any other way. We also learned at that meeting that the delivery had been changed to Friday the 20th at 11am.
The following week we headed back to Sioux City Thursday morning and got settled into what we thought would be our home away from home for at least a week. We arrived at the restaurant at the agreed upon meeting time growing more nervous as the minutes ticked by and the birthmother did not arrive. She had had some last minute troubles with childcare and apologized profusely via our attorney. We ate dinner, grabbed a bottle of wine and hoped that sleep would come. We arrived at the hospital at 10 am Friday morning. We waited and waited and waited as the Dr's waited for an O.R. Shortly after noon with little notice, a nurse brought Benjamin into our waiting room and put him in Jess's arms. As the nurse put it, "he wasn't behaving," and after only a couple seconds they whisked him away into the nursery for assessment. We watched through the glass as tears flowed down our faces and they assessed our little guy. In short order they came out and told us he wasn't breathing well on his own and was testing like a 34 week gestation. They let us walk him to the NICU (neonatal intensive care unit) and told us we could see him in about an hour. When we were finally allowed to see him, he was laying on a warmer (Ryan said, "like a chicken,") he had an IV, a feeding tube coming from his mouth, and pressurized oxygen to help him breathe. Ben, of course, was not our only concern. In the few moments of calm, our minds quickly thought of his birthmother. She was recovering well and visited with him once and also met with us once before she went home. In a matter of hours, the Dr. determined Ben didn't seem as early as they thought. We had our own room a floor below and Ryan took the first shift in the recliner in Ben's room. At four am Jess relieved him. The nurses in the NICU were some of the many blessings in this story-truly angels. Within 24 hours, the Dr's removed the oxygen and shortly thereafter we were allowed to attempt bottle feeding. Ryan's parents arrived Saturday evening and we also checked into the nearby Ronald McDonald house as was recommended by the nurses and attorneys. It was only a block away with a stocked pantry and a queen size bed. We would do Ben's 9:30 feedings each night and be back for the 6:30 am feedings. We spent the rest of the time at his bedside reading, playing pictionary, or talking about his future. Cell phones and computers weren't allowed so we used the 2-4 pm mandatory quiet time each day to step out and update the family on his progress. In order for us to escape the hospital we needed Ben to eat well for a few feedings in a row and by Tuesday morning he had done just that. The Dr. came in and said we could go home a day earlier than we had thought. "Home" in this case was far from it. The huge step in being able to leave the hospital was that the paperwork that would allow us to leave Iowa and enter Kansas could be submitted. We made a happy home at the Ronald McDonald house and tried to maintain sleep and have a couple fun outings as well. We knew we might be able to go home sometime between Thursday and Friday afternoon and hoped we wouldn't be stuck in Iowa over the weekend. After a stir-crazy Friday (yesterday) morning we made some calls in attempt to push things along and got the call around 1 that we could start packing. Shortly after 2 p.m. we were in the car for the 6 hour journey home. 2 p.m. yesterday was also the expiration of the birthmother's time limit to change her mind about the adoption under Iowa law!! We weren't really worried, but didn't want to announce anything until he was officially ours. Hence, the reason you are receiving this email this afternoon!! (Although we could have written it last night when Ben was up until 2 am.) The rest should all be red-tape and paperwork, and Ben's finalization hearing is set for October 27th!!
We are settling in to life at home and Jess's mom arrived yesterday morning to help and hug and stock the freezer. Ben is sleeping in four hour stints, however his favorite time to be awake seems to be from 10 p.m. to 2 a.m. Getting that little clock switched will be our first priority. Right after a nap!!
We welcome your calls in the coming weeks and would love to share more details with all of you. Now that you know the whole story we can talk about the good stuff!! Like how amidst pee covering all three of us at 1 am, we are more in love with this little guy than we ever thought possible and we are excited for the adventure that has just begun!
With love,
Ryan, Jess, Ben, and Anna and Luke, too.
Feel free to share our news!
PS.-Ben was named after his Great X 4 Grandfather who settled in Sioux City to raise his family after emigrating as a child with his mother from Germany. Grandpa Ben's Obituary said,"No better neighbor ever lived, always accommodating and sociable. A kind, good husband, father, grandfather, and brother. The community has lost a noble highly honored citizen. Gone but the memory of him and his high ideals remain."
And, I'm crying. I love all 5 of you so much.
ReplyDeleteWow. This is my favorite post. EVER.
ReplyDeleteOh yeah, I was so blown away I forgot to ask... What are crunchy cows?
ReplyDeleteCrunchy Cow
ReplyDeleteRoast Beef on toasted whole grain baguette with cream cheese, sprouts and cucumber.
I remember this like it was yesterday. Such a moving and heartfelt letter :)
ReplyDelete