If you tell our story..........

National Infertility Awareness week is drawing to a close and though I've been thinking about it lots, I've done less this year to advocate and spread awareness.  Like I say, You can make excuses or You can make it happen, and I didn't make it happen.  Something happened to me a few weeks ago though that has stuck with me and this week is the perfect time to tell my friends and family.
Ben and I were at his swimming lesson and as we approached the pile of toys to choose from, I overheard this:

"Oh, we have friends that live there.  They have two sets of twins.  You know, IVF.  Wouldn't that be amazing! To just do IVF a couple times and have this big beautiful family.  You'd get four kids and only have to be pregnant twice.  I mean, it's a little expensive but to just get it done........"

The woman saying this to another had skipped into the locker room full of strangers a few weeks before this to announce that she was 5 weeks pregnant with her second baby so clearly she's comfortable sharing. :)

I swam away that day in the pool biting my tongue and fighting back tears of pure frustration and anger.  And then I thought, "what do my friends go around saying about our experience?"
Perhaps, "we have friends that couldn't have kids so they just adopted."

Here's the truth people.  There is NO easy in IVF and NO just in adopt.  All of these things are painful and horrifically expensive.  Ryan and I spent $20K trying to get pregnant before we even started the adoption process that doubled in price as we went through it.  The actual dollars we spent and are spending were nothing compared to the emotional toll but they are more lasting.


Lots of needles and liquid gold

We though, are blessed, and we were SO lucky.  Not a day goes by that I don't think about the tens of thousands of women sitting in their front window as I did, thanking the universe there are no small children playing on their street as yet another reminder of what's missing in their lives. The next time your kid throws a fit in the grocery store remember the man next to you might be wishing he had the chance to live that moment.  I prayed for poop and midnight throw-up and sleepless nights and two-year-old tantrums and adolescent battles.  Love your kids even in those moments cause someone somewhere is praying for the chance to live your toughest times.

 And if you're telling someone our story, say this, 
"we have friends that were blessed by adoption after a long and painful struggle to have kids. I'm so glad they were blessed with a child because so many people are waiting to be parents."