Un-friended

I didn't know it would be so soon, but yes, this blog is going there.  A long lost friend recently questioned, "Why did you guys adopt?  Why not the old-fashioned way?" Well in his defense, he had been out of the loop for some time.  The sad truth is that no one would choose domestic adoption in this country right now.  It is far too expen$$$ive, risky, scary, did I say risky?  Each day I have a secret wish that Oprah will make adoption reform her next big thing.
Really though, we are among the lucky ones-the joyful, and each time I share a piece of that joy whether here, or on Facebook, or I email pictures, I wonder who I might be hurting- because I have been among the hurt.  The hardest thing about the hurt is that it's someone else's joy that is so painful.
This thought was brought up (although I wonder each time Ben's cute mug graces FB with its presence) by this hilarious blog-post: 
http://www.alittlepregnant.com/alittlepregnant/2010/10/baby-face.html


Julie has an amazing way with humor, but oh-it's so true.  Here's my comment on her post:
 I felt the Facebook pain and hid and un-hid with regularity. Literally a baby would be born and my first thought was, "now I can un-hide her on Facebook."
Now that we've adopted and I have kiddo pics to share-each update makes me twinge and wonder who is hiding me? Who might I be hurting?
there's solace in knowing more people share in your joy and the awareness of potential hurt puts you far ahead of most.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/10/24/AR2010102402642.html?hpid=topnews


The post article highlights other things, marriage, spousal loss, that can make FB painful.  There are times when you just have to take a break.  Yesterday I had the thought, "will I ever post something cute Ben does or says or complain about no sleep and not wonder if I'm hurting someone or caused someone to Un-friend me?"  I don't think I ever will-and having been there-I hope I don't!