Trying days too......

(written Thursday and finally posted today).........

Although I consider myself a mostly happy and positive person, I didn't think it would be fair to post about a perfect day and leave out the trying ones.  I prefer weeks that don't have both extremes, but this week sure has.  Ryan has had a cold and MeeMee has been fighting one and last night I decided it was trying to get me too.  Though I woke up already feeling exhausted, I decided we could and should make the weekly trek to story time.  We weren't as early this week so Ben had little time to roam and run before the librarian got started.  As with last week, he was the lone center stage dancer as we sang the welcome songs.  He made it through the first book, The Very Busy Spider, that's one of his favorites, although did stand right in front of the too-quiet librarian and try to climb into her lap a couple times.  He got out of my lap not long into the finger play portion of the day and started to roam.  It was half way through the second story that we made our exit:(.  Ben was so excited to be there with the other kids that he ran back and forth across the room and then stopped to "talk" and squeal to the other kids and their Mamas and Grandmas.  While several people seemed quite delighted by him and his enthusiasm, others did not.  Amid one lap, I caught Ben in the back of the room and we made a hasty departure.  Poor little guy was still so happy but must have been a bit confused about our quick retreat.  I already knew we were headed to a park we discovered earlier in the week.  This boy needed to run; and some fresh air.  We never even made it all the way to the playground from the car.  There were leaves and discoveries a plenty just in the field.  Ben was thrilled to be outside and I was happy just because he was. 

 

This leaf entertained us for the longest time:)

"really Mom? I can go play in the dirt?"

 

Who needs a giant playground full of brand new equipment when you have a rusty soccer goal? 

I choked back tears all the way to the park and all the way home just from the frustrating experience and just recounting the room full of people looking at us with children contentedly in their laps.  Ben was one of the older kids and though others did stand, they clung tightly to their mamas.  His outgoing nature is one of the things I love most about him, and a big part of me feels like 18 months is a little young to expect a child to sit still for 30 minutes.  Today, though, I felt like the outcast.  Like the other mothers might leave talking about me or my kid and that feeling is neither familiar nor fun.

So, as I always do, we will try, try again. 

I will go forth with my mantra........

You can make excuses, or you can make it happen!!! Ben, my love, we're gonna make it happen!