sleep on it

Dearest Ben,

The term sleep on it is one you will hear a lot in life.

"to sleep on it"

to postpone a decision in order to allow some time to think about the decision
to allow your subconscious to process a decision or problem during sleep

Most often you will be told to sleep on it when you have a large decision to make but sleeping on it can also help when someone has hurt you or you are frustrated by a decision.  I know there are lots of things you won't listen to me about, but when your Dad or I tell you to sleep on it-take our advice.  It almost always helps to clear your head and calm your nerves so you can make the proper decision or deal with whatever problem you are facing.

Love you SO much,

Mom

The broader point of this post is to fill you in on some steps we've taken for Ben to help with his speech.  I just needed some time to sleep on it because getting to this point has been more than trying.  We've questioned for many months whether to have Ben's speech evaluated as we have known he is behind for his age.  Colorado has a wonderful early intervention program for any development need and we knew that if Ben qualified we could have services at no-charge if our insurance declines to pay. A good friend who works as a physical therapist in this system warned me that it can take 2-3 months to begin services so that if we waited until Ben was 2 and a 1/2 he may not have many months of therapy.
This along with some other things caused Ryan and I to make the call and at least have Ben evaluated.  "It can't hurt," has been our mantra throughout this process.  The process happened very quickly for us and was completed in 3 weeks rather than 3 months.  Ben was evaluated last week and did qualify for services.  We will have a speech therapist come to our home for one hour each week until Ben is 3.  I am elated that there is help like this available and although my overall concern for Ben is minimal, "it can't hurt," is more than true.  We meet his therapist this week and I'm excited to get some tools to help Ben's speech progress.  Of course, his words have nearly doubled since we began this process as well as his repeating of words and sounds we say, but hopefully that will make the tools easier and the improvements  all the greater.

I took several days of sleeping on it before this post because the evaluation meeting for Ben was by far my most trying hour of parenting.  Opening your child up for criticism is difficult beyond belief and I was so distraught going in that I had even planned an extra long run that morning to calm my nerves.  I will spare many of the painful details but the gross unprofessional-ism and hurtful comments were horrible.  Our service coordinator has been amazing and went up to bat defending Ben more than once during his evaluation.  Our evaluators were older and clearly at some point in their careers have lost the compassion that is necessary when dealing with parents and our littlest humans.  It makes me sad to think they are there doing this every day and often meeting with parents without the self-confidence to stand up for themselves and their children.  There will certainly be follow-up on my end and I have to hope it might help change something.  I knew Ben would be criticized and demeaned at some point in his life, and that it would be painful to endure as a parent,  I just never dreamed it would be by people who were supposed to be helping him.

On a much brighter note, his on-going therapist was not at the meeting and sounds amazing! I am eager to meet her and get started using her tools to help Ben.  I am also thankful for this lesson in the end and the reminder that we are our children's only advocate and many times there will only be one chance to stand-up for them.