Dear Ben #3 Volume 2

Dearest Nugget,

Here will begin volume 2 of Benjamin's Blog Life.  One year down and to infinity and beyond to go!  I did let you watch your first movie last week, Toy Story 3, and you only watched for a couple of minutes before returning to playing.  This was a positive sign for me that I've done at least one thing right over the last year.  

You reminded me with a baby boy shower yesterday that although you have technically entered toddler-hood, you are very much a baby in some ways.  In the toddling department you are starting to cruise a bit and pulling yourself up a bit more often.  You love doing laps in the family room with the elephant walker your dad and I got you for your birthday.  

You still prefer veggies over meat and spinach and cheese over most anything else which also makes me happy.  I tried to give you leeks this week with your carrots and you didn't care for them.  I will have to get creative in the winter months as I've been spoiling you with fresh peach and mango puree most days.  Speaking of food, our breakfast and lunch dates are getting more fun by the day as I imagine what you babble back at me must mean in your little head.  Nothing warms my heart more than when we eat dinner as a family and I look very forward to that becoming a more regular occurrence in the coming year. 

As we closed Year 1, you had been to 9 states, tackled 10 plane flights, ridden a gondola, and gambled in Vegas-sshhh!  All that in one year makes your Dad and me so excited for the next chapter in our adventure.  You begin year 2 with 10 teeth, a Jellycat collection from a-d, and so many pictures from year 1 that our 1 terabyte hard drive may soon be filled. I am looking very forward to the crisp days of fall with long walks and adventures, to the prospect that you might actually care a little bit about Christmas, and to teaching you alllllllll about college basketball this season.

Thank you for being the joy you are in my life!

Until next time.......

With love,

Your Mama

12 Months

Ben had his 12 month well-baby visit Thursday morning and Dada came along to share in the fun.  Ben got a clean bill of health and it seemed we had a longer list of questions than ever before.  We met with a new Dr. this time and she has a son just a year older than Ben so it was comforting talking to someone who had just been through all this and with a boy to boot.  She assuaged our fears about his head shaking and was perfectly happy with his level of mobility.   She even gave Ben credit for saying "hi!", which even as a proud Mama I'll say is quite a stretch.  Ryan got to experience the joy of shots and Ben also had his iron test (see dingbat Mama at 10 month appt.) and passed with great levels.  We go back in 3 months and though I am in no hurry, I do think he'll be walking by then-yikes!  The stats are in.........

 

23lbs 6oz=58.25% 

29.25in=31%

head is 46.25 cm and 45% (holding steady)

Yes, to those wondering, I am starting to embrace the possibility of a soccer career but still holding out hope for point guard.  Wouldn't those eyes look amazing in a Carolina Blue uniform??

 

Special Gift

Ben is one lucky little man and birthday numero uno was no exception.  In addition to all the generous donations to the Ronald McDonald house, he received lots of great toys, clothes and books and enough donations to his college fund to pay for....... well,.......probably one or two textbooks when he goes.  Of course they probably won't have textbooks then, but, I digress.

From our friends the TS family who just moved to Canada, Ben received a very special gift.   For me the letter that accompanied the gift was the most special part and I am so thankful Ben has an adoption buddy in my dear friend Tisha........

Dearest Ben-
Happy 1st birthday!

I ordered this special book for you.  It is gently used, due to it being out of print, um, 'cause I'm old :).  You see, this is the book my parents first read to me when I was little about this special thing you and I share, called being adopted.  Your mama and dada will explain it when you are all ready.  When my parents read this, I said, "Neat!" and went right back to playing.  Although this book can get a little wordy, the point is: I wish for you the same peace I had growing up knowing how hard your parents fought to find you.  Feeling unconditionally loved.  And knowing you are part of an amazing forever family.  We love you Ben!

Love, Caleb, Tisha & Cadyn

One

Yes, the Nugget is One!!  I actually considered getting the front door sign made to say Nugget is one, but thought I might end up spending a lot of time explaining it to guests.

Ben's birthday began with Ryan waking me after he heard Ben on the monitor so we could fetch him together and be the first to wish him happy day.  We took him to our bed for his morning milk and some snuggling and reminiscing.  Grandpa Jim and MeeMee had both arrived Thursday night so they awoke not long after us to smother Ben with their well-wishes.  The day quickly got into full swing as we prepared to party. Nana Pat flew in from working and joined the preparation just after 11am.  

The day was very busy and sadly stressful as the bouncy house and margarita machine that were supposed to be delivered between 9 and 10 am did not arrive until 1.5 hours into the party.  We spent much of the day calling and worrying and finally conceded that we wouldn't have either and ran out for margarita mix and a few extra toys (thanks MeeMee).  Just as we started the second batch of margaritas in the blender, everything arrived.  Although I am still talking with the company, I am confident it was the best FREE bouncy house and margarita machine ever.  

Other than that hiccup the day was a marvelous success and lots of fun.  Ben took his first long afternoon nap in a couple of weeks and awoke just as the first guests arrived.  He loved swimming and swinging and watching everyone else having fun.  We couldn't have asked for better weather (in Kansas), and although it was overcast and humid, temps in the high 80's and no glaring sun made for perfect partying conditions.

Ben loved his first taste of chocolate and non-fruit sugar and would certainly have kept going had we not taken his cake away.  His MeeMee made him the same cake his Tante and I had for our first birthdays and as it turns out, it was Ryan's first as well.  Ben wrapped up the evening with more swimming and half-awake giddiness as the final party goers chatted in the family room.

The last guests left just before 10pm and just before Ryan realized his attempt to empty the margarita machine may not have been wise.  This fact became more clear the next day and that's all I will say about that.

Welcome to the Fun!!

One Happy Family

MeeMee with what's left of the cake

"I think this sugar stuff is A-OK!!"

Ben, Ryan, Nana Pat, and Great-Grandma Virginia

(4 Generations of Stramels)

View from swing-set of bouncy and pool.

Photo Banner of pics from the invite

Thanks for coming!

I am so incredibly thankful to our parents for their help cooking, decorating, preparing, and cleaning before and after.  I really couldn't have done it without their help and I wouldn't be nearly as far into the recovery process as I am now.

While I'm thanking people, I also have to thank our family and friends for their generosity.  The back of Ben's invitation said,   

Your presence is always the best present, but if you insist on giving a gift, we ask you to consider a donation to the Ronald McDonald House in Sioux City, Iowa.  When we were blessed with Ben last year, the Ronald McDonald house lovingly opened its doors to us while Ben was in the NICU.  In a time of abundant blessings, they were among the greatest for us.  They provided a warm bed, hot food, open arms and listening ears, all within walking distance of our new little miracle.  

We will happily collect and ship any items you'd like to donate.

I included a list of items currently needed and the outpouring of donations was amazing!! In addition to all the items, over $100 in monetary donations and $50 for shipping was also given.   Ben has few needs and soooo many toys, I am so glad we can give back to a place that did so much for us.

Sunday was slow for all of us and we did a little morning bouncing and an afternoon trip to the neighborhood pool with the whole family. Ben opened the non-donation gifts in shifts as all at once was a bit much and he wanted to play with each thing we opened.  Everyone was gone by Sunday evening and things are getting back to normal around here.  Tante has requested we leave up some of the decor for her Labor Day visit and honestly if I didn't love fall decorating so much, some of those things might stay up until Christmas!

PS.-Word on the street is that the KK-KH wedding was an over-the-top extravagant success.  

In much more important news, my college friend Erika's baby didn't wait to share a birthday with Ben.  John, Erika and big sister Zoe welcomed Lukas Raymond early Friday morning after a quick 3 hour labor.  Although his tiny Mama tops the height chart at 5 feet, Lukas weighed 9lbs and was over 21in.  Congrats to all and best wishes for sleep!!

Happenings

While I, as I've told Molly several times, have only birthday on the brain, there are several other exciting happenings going on this weekend.


Speaking of Molly, she will be crew chief for her boyfriend's 100 mile running race in Leadville, CO this weekend.  You can track his journey here, and get more info on this crazy event here.  Yes, JP will be running for over 24 hours straight over mountain passes and at extreme altitude.  


My college buddy, Erika, is currently scheduled to have labor induced for baby #2 at 730 am on Ben's birthday.  I know she is ready to have baby out NOW! but I am excited at the prospect that this baby and Ben might share a birthday.  Erika and husband John are two of a couple friends expecting any moment with gender surprises.  Makes it lots of fun for the rest of us!


In what's probably the biggest worldwide news besides Ben's birthday, Kim Kardashian (or Kartrashian as Ryan lovingly refers to them,) will wed bf Kris Humphries on Saturday.  The Kardashians are one of my guilty celebrity pleasures and the fact that we don't have cable and their show is not accessible via Hulu or any other online outlet makes them all the more appealing.  So congrats and best wishes to KK and KH!!

Our house-guests start arriving tonight and we start tot yoga in a couple hours.  I'm getting so excited for all the fun and will be sure to fill you all in when it's done!!

Measured in Lasts

So, Ben's first birthday is now less than a week away and nearly everyone I talk to asks if I'm sad, whether I think I'll cry all day, how I'm holding up, etc.  Because we have lots of friends and family coming into town and coming over next Saturday, more than anything, I'm busy.  What did strike me as very funny today was measuring in lasts (I'll explain) and how much I was doing that last year at this time.  For instance, today as I was cleaning our bedroom, I thought, "this is the last time I'll clean our room before Ben is one."  Part of this goes along with minimizing work before people arrive and timing things correctly, but last year it was a much bigger deal.......

Let me say first that one (among many) wonderful things about adoption is that I was not pregnant right before Ben came.  While on one hand, a pregnant person has nine months to prepare, and I had two, I also felt like normal me right up until the day we met.  This coupled with knowing exactly when he would arrive via scheduled c-section, let me clean and prepare in earnest.  Cleaning was the one part of preparation I could really dig into knowing that it would be necessary whether things worked out the way we hoped or not.  I figured either way (baby or no baby) I'd come home not wanting to do much super-deep cleaning for a couple months.  As I peek back at my planner to the days before we departed for Iowa last year, there are listings like -last master bathroom clean or -Ryan final lawn mowing.  I so vividly remember deep cleaning my way around the house in a series of lasts.  I even got a surprise extra day at the last minute and decided to keep the day off and do some final last cleanings.   

So, this year as I tackle my lasts around the house before his party, I am thrust back to a year ago and the emotions I felt while completing my lasts.  That, more than the year milestone, has me feeling emotional.  Reliving the "I can't believe I'm really a mom."  At times in recollection it feels like I took myself out of my body a bit for protection-almost like I watched getting Ben from above until I knew it was safe to come back down and soak it in.  Perhaps things will shift by Saturday but for now I am swept up in memories of his "birth" day and the overwhelming joy, anxiety and chaos that surrounded it.  

He is doing so many new things right now that surpassing the year mark doesn't seem to bother me.   I told Molly last week that the physical "stuff" is hard at times.  When you want so badly to and fear that you might never become a Mom as I did, I think that stuff takes on deeper meaning.   All the things I wondered if I'd ever get to buy or use are going away more and more every day.  Bouncers, and bottles, and play mats, bye-bye!!  I do have nostalgia as Ben outgrows those things especially as I wonder if we will ever need them again. (but wow!, let's not go THERE right now!)

To lighten the mood before I conclude, (ha!), and as an example of the fun new things every day, I will share a story from this morning.  The window installer came by leaving us with a small window (ha!, again) to run an errand before Emma came to babysit.   I picked Ben up along with my purse and asked if he wanted to go run an errand?  Instead of heading to the garage I stopped to lock the front door behind window man and turned back towards the garage.  Ben's world at that moment ENDED!  Every dream was dashed!! He went limp and screamed and exuded so much distress from his little body I can hardly believe he didn't faint.  Mind you it is about 3 steps between doors and the second I opened the garage door all screaming stopped, giggles took instantly over, paired with arm waving and a heavy sigh.  Ben proceeded to "bop, bop bop" all the way to our errand and all the way home, happy as a clam.  It became very clear to me in those couple of seconds why they say toddler-hood begins at one, and once again I was reminded there's more going on in that Nugget noggin' than I give credit for. YIKES! 

A last cuddle before leaving the hospital

A last snooze in his hospital crib

(I gave Ryan that gender neutral outfit for Father's Day two months to the day before.)

Just waiting on Attorneys

First snooze at Ronald McDonald house

Our room at Ronald McDonald house. 

(Should be called Huge Blessing filled with Hugs House)

Playdates and Progress

Playdates

I mentioned in the weekend update that we had a busy week of playdates ahead.  Riley and mom, Chrystal joined us for a couple hours Monday as she took a post-vacation day off.  Riley, who is a little over 3 months younger than Ben is nearly the same size.  He had a check-up yesterday and weighs the same at 9 months that Ben did at 10.  I won't be surprised if Riley walks before Ben does and quickly surpasses him in size as well!  Ryan and I talked about how it's so funny that we talk about them being so far apart in the first year and for the rest of their lives they will be the same age.  I guess they might end up a year apart in school depending on where we live and cut-off dates, but for all intents and purposes, after the next year, there will be little difference.  I am glad Ben has a little age on his side as Riley will surely always have size.

 

This face! The coy smile! Too much!

Neighbor Cheryl stopped by Tuesday to share some vacation pictures and and look at some from our recent trip.  Ben has met her several times but defintely showed his first real "stranger danger!" response.  He crawled into my lap and gripped me tight and cried and took quite a while to warm up to her.  We will work on saying hi to her a bit more and hope his reaction changes.

Today we played at pal Charlotte's house and it was quickly apparent that it had been too long since our last get-together.  Charlotte cried and cried when we first arrived and wanted little to do with either one of us.  She would look at Ben and then point at me, almost saying, "you! you brought him, now take him away!"  She warmed up quickly and was soon giving him her version of CPR pressing on his tummy while he laid on the floor.  She has a doll that giggles when you press it's tummy and her mom Carole and I wondered if maybe she expected the same from Ben?  Carole had fresh coffee and asiago bagels with smoked salmon and heirloom tomatoes to snack on! Um yes, she can host every week and I need to step my snacks up a notch.  We had a delightful morning and we all start Tot Itsy Bitsy Yoga next Thursday, so hopefully the babes will stay better acquainted.

Beautiful Charlotte

Progress

The start of the milk/sippy transition was great and Ben took every 2 pm milk in a sippy with very little difference from his bottle.  Today we attempted the same switch with his morning bottle and he threw his sippy repeatedly and cried and cried.  I poured the milk into a bottle on the floor in front of him and that was all it took!  I had no idea how attached to his bottle he obviously is.  He never gets to carry it around and because he only has 3 a day, I just didn't expect trouble.  We will try a sippy tonight before bed and see how it goes.  We have one jug of formula left so we will switch that to the morning but still try a sippy each time.  As he is already drinking below the standard recommended amount of milk +/or formula, I am hesitant to allow him to skip or stop drinking his milk.  I may also replace his water at one of his meals with milk to help him get more.

It was also made clear this week that Ben is not quite ready for the single nap transition.  We attempted yesterday and he was uber-drowsy by 10:30am.  My plan was to give him lunch at 11:15,  followed by milk at 12 and a long nap.  He fell asleep in the car while we searched for the perfect b-day BBQ and set the plan for the rest of the day awry.  He ended up only sleeping an hour from 3-4.  He also woke up an hour earlier than normal today, perhaps because of last night's lack of sleep induced early bed time.  So, I concur I will stop trying to fix what's not broken and if two shorter naps are what he needs for now, then so be it!

In much more fun news, Ben discovered the dryer on Tuesday.  I called him in to "help me with the laundry," and he was mesmerized.  Our dryer has a clear front so he can watch the clothes spin and spin.  He has honestly spent more than an hour total over the last 3 days just watching it go.  He balances on his bum with his legs elevated slightly and toes SPINNING! For a video, click here.  Sorry for the lack of light and focus-I had to sneak up on him.  Prior to today, his observation point had been the hallway, but today he grew courage and crawled into the laundry room for a better vantage point.  I never would have guessed the dryer would be my best baby-sitter yet, but I'll take it!

The safety of the hallway

Making his move

Front row is better!

I also caught Ben sunbathing yesterday

Weekend Update

It just occurred to me that Ben may never understand the SNL reference with "Weekend Update."  Sad.  We had a VERY full and productive weekend.  Ryan was happy with my trim surprise from last week and we knocked out painting the interior trim on the new windows, paining a couple walls, and replacing the trim around the new door.  Ryan also got a good taste of mobile baby and subsequently the dog food and water has moved and lots of the coffee table toppers have found a new home. 

Slider before and after

Bay window before and after

Yesterday was a big day in the milestone department as we sent the exersaucer back to Peter Hall who had lovingly let us borrow it the last 9 months, and Ben started.........wait.........for ..............it...............wait ............for...........it.............Milk!!  Some of you were thinking walking! Admit it!  Yes, we've officially replaced Ben's mid-day bottle with a milk filled sippy cup.  He loved it!  It's been so long since I've had whole milk, what's not to love? That stuff is like cream.  Towards the end of the week, we'll replace the morning bottle and right around his birthday he'll be done with both formula and bottles.  I did cry about it all several times yesterday but as I've said many times in this blog, I'm happy to see him grow, it's just a lot at once right now.  The jump-jump is our only remaining way of corralling him and there are moments when I think we'll be sending him to college tomorrow.  In other changes, I think we may be on the brink of moving to one nap.  Since vacation, Ben has consistently slept 11 hours at night and this pushes his morning nap a bit later, and of course, his afternoon as well, so he is often not waking until 5:30 or 6pm.  We have lots of play dates and visitors this week, but I think we'll try skipping the morning nap on Wednesday and Thursday and see what happens.  Oh how sweet an epic afternoon nap would be! Not to mention the morning activities we can take part in when it happens.......See there I go rushing things again. Would you please just make up your mind!!

Speaking of college, we had a neighbor sponsored ice cream social last night across the street.  The host home has a son in college and one not far behind.  Another neighbor with 11 and 9 year old girls was grilling this Dad about the cost of college, etc. and it was hilarious.  You could clearly tell the thought of it all has been keeping the younger Dad up at night as he'd even been considering the cost of gas vs. plane tickets depending on the region where his daughters might attend.  I'm glad I'm able to set those thoughts aside for another couple years and hey!, maybe that's the purpose of adolescence?  Something tells me when his daughters are 13 and 15 that the cost of college won't be what's keeping him up at night :).

trying the moo juice

Busy Busy Busy

(Ben's music table has a song that goes, "busy, busy, busy."  

We recite it when we are frustrated by the busy, busy, busy ;)

Breckenridge

The final installment in our vacation re-cap is finally here!  I can only imagine what some of you are muttering! We arrived in Breckenridge mid-day Tuesday and let out a big sigh of relief.  Hauling in and packing and unpacking all the infant accoutrement each night grows quickly tiresome.  The Grand Lodge at Peak 7 is the "home-base" of my Mom's timeshare and she couldn't have picked a better home.  We've had the pleasure of traveling with her timeshare to both Las Vegas and Puerto Vallarta and Breckenridge was by far the most luxurious and indulgent.  

My Mom had checked in on Saturday and only a wedding would have made missing those first days acceptable.  Tante Mollusk joined us Wednesday evening until we all left Saturday.   One of many hot tubs was steps outside our door and the chairlift just steps beyond.  All week I wondered what it would cost to just be there all the time, and the answer is $1M in a one bedroom.  We found out there are 3 1-bedroom units for sale as homes.  Although small, you would certainly be hard-pressed to build a larger home in a similar location with similar amenities for less than $10M.  So, .....it's a bargain. 

We enjoyed time at the spa thanks to an early anniversary present from MeeMee, a day with Nana Pat and Grandpa Jim, several skeeball tournaments in the arcade, LOTS of swimming, the alpine slide and an apres slide beer, and plenty of relaxing.  We inquired too late about a family movie in one of the two family theaters you can reserve, but will be sure to secure one next year.  We also got in a lunch with Aunt Christy who was at the house she and Uncle Dave have in Breckenridge.  We got to take part in cousin Ian's first lunch out at Empire Burger.  

We departed Saturday morning, July 30th for home sweet home.  I posted a Facebook status update...."home sweat hot wet home.", the next day.  It is HOT right now in Kansas.  We are approaching nearly 50 days over 100 degrees this summer.  The stifling heat coupled with the post-vacation depression made coming home and being home hard for both Ryan and me.  We are having fun prepping for Ben's birthday in a couple weeks, but all that time with family and close friends was a tough reminder of how much we miss them and how much harder it is to be so far away with Ben in our world.  If nothing else it makes the time together sweeter, and like many parts of life I am very thankful for the moments when I feel overwhelmingly grateful for my life and the people in it.  

Our apres slide beverages

Keepin' a close eye on the competition

Aunt Christy and cousin Ian

Swimming with Tante Mollusk

Grouchy Ladybug face