Respect the Schedule

I am a firm believer as a parent that kids need a schedule.  I know this is a controversial topic in some parenting circles, but I stand firm in my belief of its necessity.  That said, I also believe you can't stop living your life when kids come.  This week the proper balance of all this has come into question for Ben and me.  I think one of the most challenging parts is that just when we have one sleeping schedule down, it changes!  Feeding has settled quite a bit the last few months and I think we have a happy schedule and a happy baby in that department.  But I digress, back to sleeping.......Depending on the days activities and when he wakes up, it seems Ben's sleep needs can vary greatly.  Some days he sleeps from 930 am-1130 am and then is obviously not ready for a marathon nap at 1230 or 1.  On those days he goes back down for 1.5-2 hours anywhere between 2 and 4.  I thought we had happily settled into a 45 minute nap at 930 and a long one in the afternoon but it's just not the case.  This week we had a couple of activites planned at 1030 and Ben showed tired signs at home about 930.  In both cases he got short naps in the car but also had awful, crankopotomus filled afternoons and a feeding schedule that flew right out the window with everything else.  The goal here in the next couple months is to cut out the morning nap altogether and have one gloriously long afternoon nap.

When we were stuck at home all day with Riley here, it didn't matter much, but now that we'd like to get out into the world more, it is a challenge.  I also need to remember that most of our playmates are older and need less sleep.  In addition, because Ben is bigger and taller than most babies his age, he graduated from the infant carrier earlier.  It would all be easier if I could transition him into and out of places while leaving him asleep in the carseat.  It was also only a few weeks ago when he still needed an evening snooze and that seems like ancient history.  

The bigger challenge is my type A, "master planner" (as someone said), personality.  I start each day going over the plan in my head and usually have it down to 15 minute increments.  (Mom, I know what you're thinking here and you can keep it to yourself :)) That said, when we are off by even 30 minutes, entire activities or tasks have to be scrapped or rescheduled.  I also realize, Dear Readers, that these activities are not of earth shattering importance, but to me, they are LIFE.  

The Solution

I think a first important step is to not schedule exact time activities like yoga, Tot Tuesday, or play-dates on back to back days.  This way if his schedule is blown to bits one day, he'll get the comfort of having it back the next.  And really, if I fill his schedule at 8 months, what will life be like when he's 14?

Next, I need to filter which activites and tasks are time sensitive and which are not.  One big problem is my running.  I work all day to eat and drink appropriately so I will be prepared to run when Ben is not asleep and voila!-out the window.  The simple solution for that is to always run first thing after Ben gets his bottle.  And really who is gonna be out at 6 am wondering why I'm running with my baby in PJ's?? 

For the tasks and activities that don't have to happen at an exact time, I just need to keep a running list and maybe assign the amount of time I think each task will take and do and reassign according to Ben's needs.

Finally, I know these will all be problems of the past in a few short months and I have definitely been focusing on soaking up every minute of cuddle and rocker snuggles.  I need to focus on tuning into baby first and the world second.  Like everything in life, it's a delicate balance and what fun would it be if I had it all figured out?

 

At 3 weeks, when he couldn't even stay awake through a photo shoot.

 

At 2 months, in the glorious carseat where he could sleep (happily) anywhere.